Wednesday, October 24, 2012


to really hear
on a deeper level
requires quiet reflection
a conversation
by its very nature involves one
who is speaking and one
who is listening
if you will recall
way back in January I pondered the
idea of a word for the year
and chose
for some reason it was pulling at
my heart and begging
to get noticed
maybe because I was also aware that
I am easily
during tv time the family will ask
about a commercial
that just ran and I will
admit that my brain went on
a joy ride and I heard none of it
not a big deal
until my escapades began
taking me away during
conversations with
my boys...husband...sisters.
not much fun when you get busted
and have to confess...
i wasn't REALLY listening.
if you don't take the time to
really listen
you run the risk of
not hearing.
which brings me to another
that if you don't stop to listen
you run the risk of
not hearing.
it has been on my mind for many reasons
there are certain Bible verses that
make me wonder if we
get it.
my conversations with God
are awesome
(yeah...I'm over 20 and using that word...
forgive me here)
each word perfectly describes
my concern...
my joy.
now put me in the position to
pray with a group and...
it's like I actually told my pastor
one time...
Sorry, Pastor...but I've got nothing.
(no, I am not kidding)
it was as if my mind was unable to
string words together.
I am physically unable to
pray to my God alone and
disregard others around me...
which leaves me wondering...
in those situations...
 for whom my prayers are really intended.
I can rest in the verse from Matthew
for now...
"But whenever you pray, go
into your room and shut the door
and pray to your Father who is in secret,
and your Father who sees in secret
will reward you."
I say for now...
because this is an area of weakness
and ignorance.
an area that requires work.
to learn.
to speak...and to listen.
many keep a prayer journal
to not only reflect on the past
but to see how God works in their lives.
it serves as a visual
that God hears...answers...
during the summer I was asked to
help in different arenas
at church...
one was with the senior youth...
i had the desire...
i have boys who are that
age and i knew it would be a good
but something kept feeling off
i couldn't figure it out
it just didn't feel right...
maybe God had other plans for me.
it didn't take a journal for me to find
the answer
summer closed and fall began
and family life
required my full attention
my aging and ailing father-in-law and his only son
who had himself developed
serious health issues...
under went surgeries...
life was coming at me hard and I found
myself giving thanks
thank you Lord for giving
me ears to hear.
thank you for loving me in all
my glorious imperfection.

for knowing me better
than i know
above all...
keep speaking to me.


1 comment:

  1. My word this year has been "redeemed". It's been amazing how often this word has appeared this year, so it's given me a lot of opportunities to meditate on it. I'm glad you've "listened" to your word, and hope that it's giving guidance,peace and understanding.